My name is Melanie and I am weaning a puppy. Yes, you read that right. My little fur son has been sleeping with me since I got him as gift. It’s mainly because he was so tiny and so scared of everything. I have to admit I was also a little scared that something would happen to my tiny furball, with good reason, everything was giant compared to his tiny 1 pound body. Despite the fact that he’s only grown in inches all around and has probably gained about 4 more pounds, I am finally convinced that he needs to sleep in his own bed. So, I’ll put him in his tiny bed on the floor next to mine, turn off the lights and get into bed to go to sleep. I can hear his confusion every night as he begins to whine, he gets off of his tiny Ikea bed and onto his hind legs and scratches my mattress for attention, I turn and give him a stern “no” and he whines louder. As the night progresses the whining stops but this little fur genius (I mean, every mom thinks their kid’s a genius right? Why can’t furmoms?) has discovered how to tell that I am fast asleep. Once I’m asleep he jumps onto the bed and rolls himself into a little ball. Either by my feet, by my back or by my chest, depending on how I’m sleeping. Sometimes little fur Bond is successful and I don’t notice and continue on in my dreaming. Other times, his little hop wakes me up. This wasn’t one of his successful nights. I hadn’t been sleeping very well due to guilt, the kind where you can’t stop beating yourself up. I was so disappointed with myself, as God was revealing the sins in me I have yet to fully conquer. And when I think I have, well, my flesh and lack of self-control are there to remind me; I can have a replay at any moment. I was feeling so undeserving of being before God that day. So Gizmo’s tiny hops were to no avail. As soon as he hopped up I said the usual “no, Gizmo. Get down” for the 50th time and when I went to grab him and put him off the bed, he, with all his might pressed int
o my chest. It was as quick and, in his mind, probably as strong as the opposite ends of 2 giant magnets. Somehow, in his mind he had found the solution to mommy kicking him off the bed. Stick to her and hope the invisible Velcro does its job. It didn’t. I grabbed him with one hand and that’s when I heard this voice say 3 words: that’s God’s grace. It was so clear, almost audible. And I understood. I didn’t need a sermon or drastic moonlight to hit my room the way it does in movies. The Holy Spirit ministered to my heart so subtlety yet so sternly. I cannot get away from God’s grace; it pursues me hand in hand with His love and is as relentless as Gizmo trying to jump back into bed. All I had to do was take my sins to Him and rest in His grace instead of beating myself up about it. Then and only then can I overcome every hint of sin that surfaces from my heart.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I was overwhelmed. My King had gotten off of His throne and knelt down to whisper reassurance into my heart.
I was overcome with peace, right there, in my bed. I felt so grateful yet so undeserving of that grace that God has lavished on me. I was so used to having to earn recognition, I began to live my walk like that. Clocking my deeds and adding a point for the good things I did, adding a point for resisting temptation or remembering to do a devotional, like God was keeping count. When I did something that would constitute me “losing a point”, I instantly felt unworthy. We are not worthy of God’s love and grace, that’s what makes it so amazing, but this truth was being twisted to produce a guilt that would not lead me to repentance, but to shame. That night was a beautiful reminder to sit and rest in the grace that God has provided freely to me. As long as I was obedient, the Holy Spirit was still at work in me, strengthening me to overcome anything that might come my way.
MY KING HAD GOTTEN OFF OF HIS THRONE AND KNELT DOWN TO WHISPER REASSURANCE INTO MY HEART.
So I extend this small, simple, but amazing reminder to you; rest in the grace that God has lavished out for us so generously. His grace is perfectly sufficient in our weaknesses, so let us boast in our weaknesses so that the power of Christ and His grace is ever more perfected.
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
Continue to fight to overcome that sin that God might be revealing in you and when you fall, because you will somehow fall, get up, repent and continue. Like queen Cardi B says, (lol I couldn’t resist) “fall down 9 times, get up 10”.
Needless to say, Gizmo spent that night in my bed, and every night since. Weaning a puppy is harder than it looks but God’s grace is still alive, flowing and well so we rest in that.
Here are some pictures of Gizmo to cheer you up.